Hello fellow perfectionists! This blog post is for you, all the striving perfectionists who need help to reduce stress in your lives.
Being a perfectionist can be seen as a good as well as a negative quality. When you are presenting yourself at a job interview, you could use it as one of your weak points because there are lots of disadvantages to being a perfectionist as well as strong qualities.
Reducing stress can be very difficult when you are a high-achieving perfectionist. We can be very uptight and stressed almost all of the time! That’s why you might need a hand and some guidance to lessen your stress levels.
This post will give you 7 ways to reduce stress when you are a proven perfectionist, check them out and see which one works for you!
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Why do perfectionists have a lot of stress?
Why is it that perfectionists are so much more prone to stress and burnout than people who aren’t perfectionists?
Perfection is often not realistic
The first and most obvious thing is that we want most things, or maybe even everything we do, to be perfect. When we are doing something at work or home, many external factors are often out of our control, which can disrupt our perfect execution of a task or plan.
Because we cannot control everything, we should learn to embrace things how they are and do the best we can with the given circumstances. Perfection is most of the time not attainable and we need to be more realistic about the real possibilities.
Fear of making mistakes and negative self-talk
Another thing that perfectionists have a really hard time with, is making mistakes. Every little mistake can feel like a big failure and it seems like we can not do anything right. Negative self-talk is very common among perfectionists because we are very critical, and it only weighs us down instead that it helps us grow. When you constantly talk badly to yourself, this will be stressful!
Fear of failure leads to procrastination
Because we want to do everything perfectly, we tend to procrastinate on things that we think might not turn out perfectly or that might fail. This procrastination can cause a lot of stress because one, you are not making progress towards your goals, and two you will feel bad about yourself for not doing anything and not being productive.
Very high standards
Stress is also created by the high expectations you set for yourself and possibly others as well. When you have sky-high expectations, it’s not easy to meet them at all. And even if you meet them, you will most likely not be excited or proud for a very long time, because you will set your bar even higher and start reaching new and even more difficult-to-attain goals. Most perfectionists are never really satisfied with their achievements because they can always be better.
Stress leads to other problems
And because of all the stress perfectionists tend to build up during their lives, they are more susceptible to anxiety, depression, eating disorders, fear of failure, burnout, low self-esteem, etc. This is not great at all and we must do something about this!
Life can be stressful enough without our minds giving us a harder time than is necessary. So, therefore, we have to learn how to reduce stress to live a happier and more peaceful life.
7 Ways to Reduce Stress When You Are A Proven Perfectionist
1. Get out of your mind
Perfectionists have heavy inner dialogues. When you find yourself stuck inside your head, throwing negative comments at yourself, it’s time to take a step back and do something that distracts your mind a little bit.
This can be anything really that stops your inner voice from screaming at you. The thing is, because this negative voice can be really loud, it should be a very engaging distraction.
Walking alone for example doesn’t do the trick for me, because I am alone with my thoughts when I walk. You could go walking with someone you love to talk to or listen to a podcast or music to distract you and keep your head busy with things other than negative self-talk.
Watching a good, engaging show can also work if you are interested in it and your focus is all on the show. To reduce stress, you can watch something that makes you laugh, like a comedy show or a good stand-up comedy!
Creating something is another good idea to get out of your mind. You can put all your focus into drawing a picture or making pictures with your camera. Creating something with your hands can also work therapeutic, like making pottery or jewelry for example.
Any activity that keeps your mind occupied where you can live in the moment and be free from negative self-talk can reduce stress. Do what works for you, explore a few hobbies, and see where you can forget about your worries while doing so.
2. Surround yourself with positive people
Perfectionists tend to be more negative-minded, not that we are all grumpy people, of course not, but because we strive for perfection in an imperfect world, we often don’t get what we want and this can be disheartening and frustrating.
Positive people bring positive vibes with them, and that’s just what you need to reduce stress. Spend some time with your most positive relatives or friends to soak up some good energy and get a brighter version of life.
Hanging out with other people and doing fun things is also a great distraction. Focus on the joy of being together without trying to make everything perfect for a while.
You could also ask them for advice on how to handle certain things or just ventilate some of your worries. Their point of view might be so different from yours that you can see things more clearly.
3. Practice self-compassion
This is a very important practice to reduce stress. Self-compassion is all about treating yourself and talking to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend.
When your best friend makes a mistake, how would you react to it? Would you scream what an awful clumsy person she is, or try to make her feel better about herself by telling her that it’s not that bad and mistakes happen?
Try to be more friendly when you speak to yourself and don’t put yourself down because this won’t make you feel better. Speak to yourself with kindness. This might be difficult at first when you are so used to being your own worst enemy at times, but when you keep practicing self-compassing, you can and will reduce stress and feel so much better in general.
Practicing self-compassion will improve your mental health immensely if you keep it up.
4. Take breaks
During the day, your stress will build up until you have a moment to rest or take a break. To reduce stress, you must add breaks to your busy schedule.
You need breaks to fill your cup of energy back up and lower your stress levels to a minimum. Whatever you do on your breaks is up to you.
I would not recommend spending all of your break time with your eyes on screens, as they are very stimulating and don’t allow a proper rest. Do some breathing exercises, talk to a friend or coworker, have some tea, take a walk, do a little dance, take a nap, etc.
Take a break that either gives you some rest and peace or an energy boost. As long as your mind isn’t ruminating or worrying about things it’s all good. You don’t only have to take a physical break and not do any work but also have some mental rest.
5. Learn when to lower your expectations
We raise the bar high! So high that it can feel pretty overwhelming at times. You will suffer from always having to perform to reach an unachievable level and maybe your friends and family will suffer too if you hold them to the same standards!
You shouldn’t be hard on anyone for not meeting very high expectations, not to yourself and not to your loved ones. Try to set the bar a little lower sometimes and be proud and happy with the things you achieve anyway. You don’t have to become the next president to be proud of yourself!
Focus on trying to do things the best you can. This can be very good on a good day, and just okay when you are having a not-so-good day.
Not every little task needs to be done perfectly, if there’s a typo in your email, so what, or your presentation did not go as smoothly as you would have liked, that’s okay too!
6. Focus on your strengths
This tip doesn’t only apply to perfectionists, but to everyone who wants to reduce stress in their life. When you focus on your strengths, and use them as much as you can, you will feel less stressed than when you have to use your weakly developed skills all the time.
In schools, there is often a focus on improving the things you’re not good at, instead of trying to get even better at the things you are naturally good at. Which is what we actually should do! If you let everybody practice their strengths, people would be happier, less stressed, and more productive as well.
Use your talents and your strengths as much as you can on a daily basis to live an easier and more fulfilling life.
7. Embrace imperfection
Last but not least is accepting the fact that imperfection is everywhere and imperfect things can be great as well.
Nobody is perfect and maybe there are certain things you can do perfectly, but so many things don’t need to be done perfectly and that’s where acceptance comes into play. When you learn to accept things that are not perfect for what they are, you will feel so much lighter. As long as it gets the job done, it can be alright.
You can strive for perfection in certain things that you really love to be perfect to a T, but don’t try to do this all the time, it’s exhausting! Good is good enough most of the time and imperfection can be just fine.
There is a great book named ‘Love for Imperfect Things’ from Haemin Sunim which is a nice read for every perfectionist and also a wonderful book to add to your book collection.
Reduce stress for more happiness 🙂
Perfectionists often suffer from too much stress in their daily lives, so they need to find ways to reduce stress as much as they can to live a more peaceful and energized life.
It’s often easier said than done to make significant changes to your life and your mind but if you want a change for the better, you should give it your best try! (and by best, I don’t mean perfect ;))
When you feel like you are trying all these things to help reduce stress but your stress levels remain too high or your perfectionism is causing you too much trouble daily, maybe seek out a professional therapist to help you improve your mental health.
I hope you find this post helpful, if you have any tips you would like to share with your fellow perfectionists, please leave a comment down below! Let’s help each other out.